This would have marked a month since I posted a Monday devotional. It has been on my mind. Rather than a product of procrastination, my silence has been a result of losing focus. My next short series of devotionals will delve into the theme. For now, I want to share what has led me to center my study on this.
I get distracted. Life can be distracting. Between majors and hair-days and ambitions and projects and dreams and hopes and fears, it’s easy to take my eyes off Christ.
In the thick of all my thinkings and endeavors (and sometimes, the lack thereof), my time with God became a dull affair. On the few days that I did, I would sit down to read my bible and breeze through it, and then say a short general prayer. Prayers I meant, but prayers I prayed with a little bit of obligatory exasperation.Thank you God for your love and faithfulness. Thank you for your word. Help me to live for you. (or something of the sort)
And then off I would go. Back to my life, back to my daily grind. Isn’t it so easy? To go so easy in this faith journey, that we loosen our grip and slip away? In times past, this has happened, and it has been the point at which my walk with God took and stale break. I know that days without time spent focused on God and his word in earnest lead to weeks, and then months. Suddenly, church becomes unappealing, and reading God’s word not only becomes something I procrastinate- it morphs into an inconvenience.
Oh, but how faithful God is, my friends! How marvelously faithful He is!
In church yesterday, we read about Elijah. He’d just gone through a dark spell and been strengthened by God, when on his journey, he walked into a cave and slept.
But the Lord said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
10 Elijah replied, “I have zealously served the Lord God Almighty. But the people of Israel have broken their covenant with you, torn down your altars, and killed every one of your prophets. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me, too.”
11 “Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, theLord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but theLord was not in the earthquake. 12 And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.
And a voice said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
1 Kings 19
What are you doing here? This is direction of my conviction. What am I doing just getting by? What am I doing waffling about in this walk with God?
Do I realize what awesome value and privilege I have to have access to a Holy God? God, in all his vast splendour and magnitude, desires intimacy with little old ME. He desires my heart. My intentions. My hopes and my dreams.
When I think of why we stay away from God, or get comfortable on the surface, I think we’re afraid of where God will take us. We’re afraid of who he’ll ask us to become. Sometimes, I think we keep away from him with a creeping fear in the back of our minds that he will ignore our ambitions and obliterate our dreams.
In a post I wrote months ago, I wrote this, and it spoke to me.
A thought came to me. To stop holding my dreams and desires tightly in my clenched fist, hidden behind me as I step into God’s light. As if to keep them away from Him. As if he is the snatcher and shredder and burner of dreams (and as if these are tasks he executes while he laughs fiendishly). As if those dreams aren’t more precious to Him than they are to me. As if they aren’t His…
Read full post here
What are you doing here? What am I doing in my faith. Why am I here, following this Jesus. Where am I going with this? What am I giving to God? The bits and pieces of myself that I care the least about? Or all of it- my failures and successes. My fears as well as my dearest, most lofty ambitions?
What am I doing here? Before a Holy and mighty God, whose greatness goes beyond my desire for him, and yet he calls for it. Whose Glory is not reliant on my praise, and yet he dwells in it. God, who is the reason for my existence. Who loves me with an unimaginable love. Who waits so patiently, and is the still, loving voice in the midst of the noise of my little life.
What am I doing here?
Today, I am thankful for the Holy Spirit, who does not let me wander too far off before he asks me what I’m doing there. My prayer going forward is for focus. For a dead-on gaze on my God that stands fixed, undistracted from things that will pass away. A love for him that is shown in the way that I treat opportunities, relationships, gifts, hopes, fears and dreams that I have.
I hope you will journey with me in the coming posts, and that together, our eyes will be turned to Jesus.
1 Kings 19: Elijah’s story
Matthew 14:22-36: Peter and Jesus walk on the Water
Featured image from here.